


Girl's Academy of Young Athletes

by talexUSWNTlove



Category: USWNT - Fandom, woso
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:18:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6240817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talexUSWNTlove/pseuds/talexUSWNTlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU- The gals in a sports boarding school. Tobin, Kelley and Alex are 15, Cheney and Ash are 16, and Ali, Hope, and the rest of the gals are 17.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You watched her, the way she moved; how she brushed her hair behind her ears and bit her lip ever so slightly. You felt your stomach flip; just the simple things she did would drive you insane, that’s how you knew you were in love.  
  
One year ago  
  
You look up at the tall dark gate that read “Girl’s Academy of Young Athletes” and tighten your grip on your large suitcase. Your mom notices. “Tobin honey look at me,” she takes you scared face in her hands. “You are going to be amazing. You are going to boss all of the older girls. I believe in you honey.” Your mom smiles and you can see how proud she is of you but you can also see how much it pains her to have to send you away to this school. 200 miles away is far and nine months is a long time but you know that this is what’s best for you and your future.  
  
“I love you mom.” You say, giving her the biggest hug you have ever given. You are just about to ask if your mom had rung the bell when you footsteps from inside the gate. You see a tall, broad women come out of a small building next to the entrance to the school grounds.  
  
“Hello!” She says in a cheerful voice. You smile shyly and murmur a “Hi.” back. “You must be Ms. Tobin Heath!” She says opening the gate and offering her hand for a shake. You extend your hand and say, “Yep that’s me.”  
  
“Well I’m Ms. Sunhage. And I have heard all about you from the coach of the girl’s soccer team.” She smiles and winks at you. You blush and look down, moving closer to your mother. “And this must be your mom!” Ms. Sundhage says extending her hand out to your mothers.  
  
“I am indeed.” You mom says, wrapping her arm around you. Your mother and Ms. Sundhage talk for a few minutes while you take in the view of the school and the grounds. There are about four soccer fields that you can see along with three domes that you assume are for tennis and when it gets too cold to practice outside. You can also see that a bit farther away is a large lake that has a bunch of floating devices you already can’t wait to try. The school itself is huge. It looks to you like there are three wings, Dorms, a Chapel and mess hall, and then the building where you will be doing your studies. All three wings are a dark grey with many windows. You realize now that you can see into the schooling wing. You look closer and see that there is a class going on. One girl looks out the window and waves to you. You quickly look away and walk back to your mother.  
  
“-yes, full access year round.” You hear Ms. Sundhage say.  
  
“Thank you so much mam.” Your mother replies, shaking the woman’s hand. “I’m sure my Tobin will love it here.”  
  
“I’m sure she will.” Ms. Sundhage says, picking up Tobin’s two large bags. “I will leave you two here for a minute to say goodbye.” Ms. Sundhage walks back through the gate and sits on a bench just out of earshot.  
  
“Bye mom.” You say hugging her and taking in her scent one last time. This is the first time you will be away from her in 15 years.  
  
“I’m gonna miss you Toby.” She says. You can hear that she is holding back tears.  
  
“I will call you tonight, okay?” You say, holding back tears of your own. Your mom nods and plants a kiss on your forehead.  
  
“Be good. I love you baby.”  
  
“I love you too mommy.” You give her one last kiss and then start to walk to Ms. Sundhage. You look back and see your mom wipe away her tears. You wave and then never look back.


	2. Roommate

Ms. Sundhage shows you around for about an hour. You were right about the three wings. She tells you that you will get three meals per day with a snack after school that is optional. You must go to church on Sunday but that’s not an issue for you. School days are short. You have four one hour classes five times a week. Math, Science, English and History. You will stay with the same 25 kids in all these classes, they don’t want to add stress to your already huge workload. Classes start at 9:00 and end at 1:30 which is when you have lunch. At 3:00 practice starts. Practice ends at 6:00 and you have an hour to get washed up and do some homework. Dinner starts at 7:00 and ends at 8:00. You then have until 10:00 to do homework or whatever else you want. Lights out at 10:15on school nights and on the weekends, curfew is 11:00. On Saturday, you have two practice sessions. One from 10:00 to 1:30 and the other from 3:00 to 6:00. You can tell that they like to keep things consistant here. Your only day off is Sunday but you are not allowed to leave the campus. 

When Ms. Sundhage finishes telling you this she takes a deep breath. “Any questions?” She asks, giving you a warm smile. 

“Just one." You say unsurely.  
“Go ahead.” She says resting her hand on your shoulder.

“When is breakfast?” She smiles and laughs, not the response you were expecting. 

“I always forget to tell you guys that, my Lord. I've been working here 10 years and I still never remember to tell you girls.” You smile up at her, she really is quite nice. “It starts at 8:00 but you can come any time before classes.” She thinks for a bit then adds, “Most girls come at 8:30.” You smile and nod. 

“Thanks you so much Ms. Sundhage.” You say sincerely. You really are thankful for how welcoming she has been. Almost all of your nerves are gone. 

“Oh course sweetie.” She replies warmly. “The last thing is your dorm room. I believe that you are rooming with Alex Morgan. She’s your age and has been at this school since she was a little girl.” Your nerves start to come back. She’s been here forever? How are you supposed to fit in now? Ms. Sundhage can see your change in mood and takes your hands. “Honey you are going to be fine. Don’t tell anyone I said this but personally I think that Alex is one of the nicest girls here.” She winks and smiles at you. You feel yourself physically start to relax. You take a deep breath as Ms. Sundhage opens the door. You hear her talking to someone inside and then see a girl who is a little bit taller than you walk out. 

“Hi!” She says in a raspy voice. “I’m Alex and you must be Tobin!” She reaches out her hand for you to shake it. You take it. When you get a better look at her face you immediately realize that she was the girl that waved at you out the window only an hour or so ago. 

“Yeah t-that’s me.” You look back to Ms. Sundhage who is smiling. 

“Have fun girls!” Is all she says before putting down your bags and walking away. You go to get your bags.

“Want me to grab one?” Alex asks, putting her hair up into a bun. 

“Yeah, thanks.” You say, already liking the girl. The two of you drag your huge bags into the room. She shows you around. There is a bathroom in the back that you share with the girls who are in the room next to yours. Beside your bed is a dresser and next to it is a big wardrobe. 

“I saved you half the closet.” Alex said smiling. You look in and see that Alex’s side is filled with dresses. You take in a sharp breath, you didn’t bring many dresses. Just two or three for church. “You okay?” She says, concern filling her face.

“Yeah, I, uh, I just didn’t bring many dresses.” Her face immediately lights back up and she laughs. 

“Don’t worry about it.” She says lightly. “I’m just more of a girly girl.” She looks you up and down. You are wearing ripped black skinny jeans and a grey tee. “I can see that you’re not.” Alex says, biting her lip and looking away. “I’ll just leave you to unpack. I’m going to Kelley’s room.” Confusion fills your face. You rack your brain, who is Kelley? She notices. “Kelley is also on the team. She lives two doors down. That way.” She jerks her thumb to the left side of the door. You nod. “Catch ya later!” Alex says as she jogs out of the door. You just smile and start to unpack.


	3. Practice

You are almost finished unpacking when your roommate bursts through the door. “We are gonna be late!!!!” She screams you look at your watch and realize that she is right. It’s 2:55. You have five minutes to get dressed for practice and get to the field. 

“Ah!” You scream. You rip of your shirt and pants, leaving you in just your underwear and bra. Alex does the same. You make eyes contact with her and you swear you see a smirk start to form on her lips but she turns away too fast. 

“Coach is going to kill us!” She yells, throwing on a tee-shirt and a pair of black nike shorts. You put on a tank and the same shorts as her. You don’t even bother to look for your slides because before you know it, Alex is running down the hallway and yelling at you to follow her. You grab your cleats and shinguards and sprint after her.   
Alex is very fast but you still manage to keep up with her. You see the field coming closer and realize just how many people are on the team. You think twenty or twenty-five. When you reach the half you shove on your socks and cleats, not realizing that you nearly took out the biggest girl on the team. When you get your gear on you look up and see that everyone is staring at you. 

“H-hi?” You stutter. Everyone breaks into laughter. You crack a smile and someone offers you a hand to get up. You take it gratefully. The girl who helped you up offers her name. 

“I’m Abby.” She says smiling. “I’m guessing you’re Tobin?” You blush and smile. 

“Yeah that’s me.” 

“You’ve got some nice speed for a freshie.” She says punching your arm.

“Thanks.” You say smiling. You look around and see that Alex is standing next to a girl who has way too many freckles to count. You think that maybe that is Kelley, she looks like a Kelley you think. 

“Hey!” You hear a voice say. You whip your head around to find a girl with curly hair standing next to you. “I’m Lauren.” She says sticking out her hand. You are starting to realize that this is how you great people here, handshakes. 

“Tobin.” You respond shaking Lauren’s hand.

“Good first day so far?” She asks. You can already tell that you like this girl.

“So far.” You say then giggle. “Well Alex almost made us late for practice. I was unpacking and she burst into the room yelling that we were gonna be late.” Lauren smiles.

“That does sound like an Alex thing to do.” 

“I guess so.” Just as you were about to ask where the curly haired girl was from you hear a whistle blow. 

“Good afternoon girls.” A loud voice says. “I’m very glad to see everyone on time.” She says glaring at your roommate and you. You blush and look down. “I hope that you have all met our new player?” Most girls shook their heads. The coach sighed. “Well Tobin, can you please come stand next to me?” You look up. She is indeed talking about you. Who else would even have your name? You shake your head and then walk nervously up to the woman. You stand next to her and wait for her to say something. She nudges you. “You mute?” She asks. You turn red and hear the other girls giggling. 

“S-sorry.” You say. You feel hot tears in your eyes. All you want is to go home. “Um, I’m Tobin.” You say, wringing your hands together.

“Where you from!?” You hear a voice call from the back.

“Basking Ridge, New Jersey.” You say, proud of where you come from. This earns you many cheers. 

“Many of the girls are from New Jersey, if you can’t tell.” You nod and look at Lauren. She gives you a reassuring smile. “Alright well that’s enough. Thank you Tobin.” She pats your back and you walk back to your new friend. 

“You okay?” She whispers to you. 

“Yeah.” You say though you are still unsure. “Wait, her name again?” 

“The coach?” You nod. “That’s Jill. She’s actually really nice.” You release the breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “Hey don’t sweat it.” She says rubbing your back. “You’re gonna fit right in.”


	4. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so short, long one coming next

Practice was intense. They ran four laps around the field, stretched then did ten suicides each. After that they did passing and shooting drills. You were starting to realize why they won nationals every year. By then end of it you were exhausted. “Is it like this everyday?” You ask Alex who is breathing hard next to you.

“Most days.” She says. She then jogs away towards a dark skinned girl and steals her water. You smile, you see how chill everyone on the team is. You feel someone rest their elbow on your shoulder. You jump, startled at the sudden contact. The girl raises her hand in surrender. 

“Woah sorry bro.” The girl says. She has long blond hair that is in a high ponytail. “Just wanted to come say hi.” She sticks out her hand. You are just about to go in for a handshake when you realize it’s a fist bump. You relax, this girl is more your speed. 

“It’s all good bro.” You say, pounding her hand. You see her smile widen. You can tell you guys are gonna click really fast. You spend a good five minutes talking to the girl, who’s name is Ashlyn, about surfing. You make plans to head over to the lake on Sunday. Lauren was right, you are fitting right in.

You and Alex walk back to your dorm. You stay quiet most of the time, just taking in the campus that you didn’t get to see before. You reach your room and Alex gets in the shower first so you spend your time unpacking. After about twenty minutes you hear the shower turn off. You grab your toiletries and sit on your bed until Alex walks out of the bathroom. She comes out in only her towel. You stifle a gasp. You didn’t realize how toned she was. You turn red and hope she didn’t notice. You start to walk into the shower but before you can open the door she grabs your arm. “Not slick enough.” Her hot breath is on your ear and you shiver and practically run into the bathroom. You get in and sink to the floor. This is going to be a long year. 

You take a quick fifteen minute shower and are ready for dinner way before you need to be. You pass the time getting to know Alex. You learn that she is from a small town in California and that she has always wanted to be a soccer player. You learn about her family and her friends back home. You tell her about your life and before you know it, she is your new best friend. 

Dinner time rolls around and you walk down with Alex, Kelley, and Kelley’s roommate, the senior, Hope. Dinner is fun and you mess around with the other girls and realize how much fun they are. You are already loving it here. After dinner you go to call your mom. The only access you have to phones are the paid ones in the rec room. You smile at the other girls from different teams also calling family. You mom picks up on the first ring. You tell her how happy you are and she sounds relieved. You tell her you miss her and your dad and she cries but you stay strong. You know you can’t break now, not here. After fifteen minutes you say goodbye and walk back to your room. It’s only 8:45 and you’re so tired. You lay down on your bed and think about home. Before you realize it you are crying into your pillow and wishing you mom was here.   
Ten minutes later Alex walks in. “Bye Kelley!” You hear her laugh yell down the hallway. You try desperately to wipe away your tears. You can’t build up a wear reputation but it’s too late. “Tobin…” She says sitting down next to you. “Missing your family?” You nod and look away, embarrassed. “The first few nights are hard but it gets better, I promise.” She says, squeezing your hand. "You’re gonna be okay."

“Thank you.” You whisper, she hugs you and doesn’t let go until she’s sure you’re okay.


	5. Reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have cried while writing this

The next few days brush by. You get closer and closer to Alex. You feel like you have known her for years. Classes are easy and the teachers are nice. You are already starting to stand out as one of the better players on the team. Before you know it it’s Friday night and you are sitting in your room with Alex and Kelley. “Kelley you are insane!” Alex laughed as Kelley took another large gulp of the soda that she had managed to sneak in. 

“I,” *hic* “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” *hic.* They all laughed. You knew Kelley was pretending to be drunk. Since soda was the worst thing you could get in here they had to make the most of it. “I’m gonna go back to my room now!” Kelley exclaimed. ‘I wanna go say hi to Hopie.” Alex smirked at Kelley. 

“Just ‘hi’?” Alex said mischievously. 

“Yes butt head.” She yelled at Alex. “Just ‘hi’.” Kelley walked out of the room with the soda. You and Alex laugh until your stomachs hurt. 

“Kelley is so so so funny!” You giggle, leaning into Alex’s side. 

“She really is.” Alex returns, laying on her bed.

“Wait I have a question.” You say, changing your tone a bit, lying next to Alex. She nods. “What’s up with Hope and Kelley?” You ask, confused about why a freshman and a senior would be rooming together. Alex sits up, her face changing from happy to serious. 

“It’s not really my place to tell you.” Alex twists her hands. “Something happened and Hope was with Kelley.” You nod. It’s personal, you get it. There are things you wouldn’t want just anyone to know. 

“Gotchu.” You say also sitting up. Alex looks at you and sighs. You give her a questioning look. She shakes her head.

“I’m just really happy that you came here. You know you’re already one of my best friends and i’ve known you for what, four days?” She smiles and you hug her.

“I’m really happy I came here too.” 

You and Alex sit there for a bit like that, her arm over your shoulders and your head on her shoulder. You feel Alex take a breath, you remove your head from her shoulder. “So why did you come here? And why later now and not in september? I mean it’s November.” You tense up. You knew someone was going to ask you this eventually, you just didn’t think it was going to be now, at this moment. Alex feels your hesitation. “Hey we all have our reasons. If you don’t want to say it’s okay.” You nod and take a moment, should you tell her? You haven’t really told anyone, only your mom and a few close friends know, you and your friends family try to keep it under wraps. You’re about to start when Alex says something. “I can tell you why i’m here.” She says to you, there is no hint of a joke in her voice. You nod, grateful for her.  
“Yeah, if you want.” You say, not wanting to push her. She takes a shaky breath. “Not many people know this.” She starts. “So keep this between us okay?” She looks to you for confirmation. You nod, letting her know you got it. “Well when I was five years old my mother and father died in a car accident.” You take in a sharp breath, you know it still must hurt for her. “My aunt and uncle took me under their wings and they were amazing. They taught me how to play soccer and how to be the person I am today.” She smiles at the memory and you can’t help but find her adorable. “But my aunt got pregnant and they just didn’t have time for me anymore so they sent me off to here. I was ten years old and I was so scared.” You hear her voice break. “I just wanted to go home.” You take her hand in yours, you didn’t notice it before but she is shaking. 

“Alex…” You say. She takes a deep breath.

“I haven’t seen them since. Ms. Sundhage is like my mom now. I stay here over the summer as well.” She takes another breath. “Well that’s my story. What’s yours?” You have trouble opening your mouth. You can't believe what Alex has been through. 

“Alex my god.” You say hugging her. She easily falls into your embrace. You just fit so well with her. 

“Yeah it sucks sometimes.” She says sniffling. “But I want to hear yours!” She says, letting go. “I didn’t tell you all that for nothing, did I.” She winks at you. You smile. She really is your best friend. 

“Mine isn’t half as bad.” You say, suddenly feeling guilty for what had happened to her.

“Most people's aren’t.” Alex said looking down.

“Okay well I guess I will tell you.” You take a deep breath, you’ve never been this nervous. “So in the beginning of the year, my best friend ran away from home. Sounds like no big deal right?” You look to Alex, she looks as serious as ever. “Well it got bad, she was missing for a week, no one knew where she was. After about eight days of her being gone, they-” You flatter, this is harder than you thought. Alex knows what’s coming, she gives your thigh a squeeze, sending a jolt up your body. “They found a body of a 14 year old girl on the train tracks.” A tear slips down your cheek you try to brush it away but Alex get there first. She wipes it away with her soft hands. “It was Katie. It was my best friend.” You feel your eyes filling with tears. You feel stupid, you don’t deserve to be sad. Alex has is worse than you. 

“Tobin it’s okay.” She says, pulling you closer. “You can cry.” You feel yourself break. The tears that you held back about this for weeks finally flowing out onto your best friend’s chest. You stay there for a while, you eventually feel Alex crying. You can only tell because you know it’s not your tears on the back of your neck. Slowly both of you come to a stop. 

“I’m sorry.” You say. “I didn’t, I didn’t…” You trail off, not sure what to say. 

“Hey it’s okay.” She says back, smiling weakly. "I think we both needed that more than we knew." You nod, she’s right. You did need that. And God knows how much she needed it. She checks her watch and you check yours. You realize that it’s getting late and lights out is in fifteen. You both get up to go to the bathroom and wash up before bed. 

You are both in your pajamas when Ms. Sundhage comes to turn out the lights. For the first time you notice that the was Ms. Sundhage talks to Alex is different than the other girls. After ten minutes of trying to fall asleep you hear Alex whisper from across the room. “Tobin?” She says softly. 

“Yeah?” You whisper back. 

“Can I, um, can I sleep with you tonight?” You can't help but smile.

“Yeah, come on over.” You hear Alex get up and crawl into bed with you. 

“Thanks.” She says quietly, her breath just touching your neck. And for the second time since you got here, you get butterflies in the pit of your stomach.


	6. Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm obsessed with updating. Sorry not sorry ;)

You wake up to the sound of Ms. Sundhage bangning on the door and Alex screaming that you are already awake. You look around the room and see that Alex is already dressed and sitting on her bed. You get up slowly, stretching the while, and walk over to the girl. “Hey.” You say quietly. 

“Hey.” She says back. You are startled by how defeated she sounds. Last night must’ve taken a lot out of her. 

“Are you okay?” You ask, genuinely concerned. “I’m sorry if last night was too much to handle, I-” You are cut off by her finger.

“No,” She says getting up to hug you. “I really needed that. Thank you for being there.” You feel her smile and you can’t help but smile too. 

“I’ve gotta get ready,” You say, breaking the embrace. “We have a lot of practice today right?” She nods and you smile, thankful that it’s not awkward between you.  
Breakfast runs smoothly, good mornings are said and food is dropped and cleaned up. You head out to practice with Lauren and her roommate Amy who is quite nice and very funny. Practice is fun. Jill makes you run at the beginning but then lets you guys mess around for a bit, allowing you to let out all of the stress of the week. You eat lunch with your now usual crew, Alex, Kelley, Lauren and Amy. 

During the second practice session you learn that your first game will be the next saturday against a school called Prestigious Academy. You find the name to be rather stupid. And according to the giggles going around so do your other teammates. You make eye contact with Alex and just can’t hold it in any longer. The two of you burst out laughing. Pretty soon everyone else is laughing uncontrollably and you are being scolded and told to go to your coaches office after practice. This shuts you up along with everyone else. You are quiet for the rest of practice, scared of what is to come. 

After practice you and Alex leave earlier than the other girls so that way you can get back to your room as soon as possible. “Sorry for making you laugh.” You say in a defeated voice, kicking a pinecone that was on the ground. 

“Hey,” Alex says stopping in her tracks. “This is not your fault.” She smiles. “I’m probably gonna get the worst anyways. No need to be nervous.” She continues walking. You take a moment to think then start walking again. You catch up to her and grab her hand mid swing, you swear you can see a shiver run down her spine.  
“Thanks.” You say, making eye contact with her. She just blushes and looks away. You think that she is acting strange but you just brush it off as being nervous. After all, you are scared and might be imagining things. 

You and Alex get to Jill’s office and she yells at you for a little bit about respect and how to treat the other teams. She lets you out with a warning, saying next time it happens she is not going to let you play in the game. You and Alex walk out with your heads down and tears in your eyes. You get back to your dorm and collapse on the bed. You hear Alex scream into her pillow then get up and turn on the shower. You stay on your bed, you know you messed up you just didn’t want to get in trouble this early. You feel yourself start to blame Alex. You shake that feeling off. This is in no way her fault, she doesn’t deserve to be blamed. That wouldn’t be fair. You hear Alex come out of the shower so you grab your stuff, ready to walk in but she doesn’t come out for another 10 minutes. 

When she does her eyes are red and puffy. You hear the door open and close from the other side. You think that maybe Sydney, the darker skinned girl, was in the bathroom with her, talking her down from something. She gives you a weak smile and you return with a questioning look. “I will tell you later.” She says turning away from you, your signal to get into the shower. 

While you shower you hear her talking to someone, you assume it’s Kelley. You can hear them laughing and you hear your name. You turn off the shower just in time to hear Alex say, “You should talk to her. She’s been through similar things.” You feel mad suddenly. Did Alex tell Kelley about your story? You trusted her, that wouldn’t be fair. You are about to storm out of the bathroom when you realize you don’t have a towel on. You face turns red and you thank God for not letting you walk out in nothing. You’re not really sure what’s going on between you and Alex but you are sure that that wouldntve helped. With your confidence lost you just walk out of the bathroom normally. 

You go to your dresser and get out underwear and a bra. You put them on under the towel then drop it to the ground. You hear Alex take in a sharp breath. You turn the other way and smirk. You turn back around. “You like the view?” You tease Alex.

“Wh-what?” She says, her face turning a dark shade of red. 

“I mean out the window,” you say smirking. “The trees are beautiful.”

“Oh!” Alex exclaims, taken aback. “Yeah, um they, um, yeah.” You look down at her and she blushes harder. “I’m going to Kelley’s room.” She says getting up. She runs to the door and stumbles on your towel. “S-sorry.” She stutters before running out of the door. You take a deep breath when she leaves. You’re not really quite sure what just happened but you know that you want it to happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When do you want them to finally kiss?


	7. Not so Kelley, Kelley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your guys' comments honestly make me so happy. I read them in the morning an they brighten my day. Love you guys :)

Dinner is especially good. You and Alex are back to normal, the shower thoughts out of sight and out of mind. After dinner you and Alex head over to Kelley and Hope’s room. Hope is with the other seniors in Abby’s room. You’re still a little scared of them. You, Alex, and Kelley are quickly becoming the three musketeers. You eat your meals together and spend all of your free time together. Tonight your curfew is later. Usually it’s at 10:15 but it’s at 11. For about an hour you are in the break room watching whatever goodish shows you can find on the TV and playing pool with the tennis girls. They are pretty cool, you enjoy their company. 

You play pool for a few more minutes and you notice that Alex has pulled Kelley over to the side and she keeps looking at you. You become self conscious and go to sit back down on the couch. After a while Alex comes up to you and grabs your hand, sending chills through your bones. She drags you out of the lounge area and into the hallway. She slams you up against the wall and your face is so close to hers. You feel your breathing speed up, this isn’t normal for you. You look into her eyes searching for a reason. After a second she pulls back. She obviously noticed your change of breathing. “Sorry for slamming you against the wall so hard.” She smirks. 

“It’s okay.” You manage in a calm voice. You see some surprise on her face but it washes away quickly. 

“I want you to talk to Kelley.” She says, dragging you down the hallway by your hand. You don’t say anything back you just nod. She leads you to the room that she shares with you. Kelley is sitting on your bed. She looks deathly nervous. “Talk.” Is all Alex says before sitting you down on the bed and leaving the room. Kelley looks like she’s about to throw up.

“Kelley are you okay?” You ask, concerned about the color of Kelley’s face. No one should ever be that white. 

“Um yeah.” Kelley says twiddling her thumbs. “Alex said that you would be good to talk to about my reason.” She looks back up at you like a little kid. Suddenly it all comes together. Alex pulling Kelley over, them looking at you, and then Alex dragging you into the room.

“Oh.” Is all you say. Kelley stands up.

“I’m um, I’m actually going to get Alex right now.” Kelley runs out of the room, leaving you confused and alone. 

After five minutes of you waiting Kelley come back in only this time with Alex behind her. “Sorry Tobin.” Kelley mumbles sitting back down next to you. You grunt in response, still not really sure what is going on.

“Okay well since both of you are clueless idiots I will be the one to start this conversation.” Alex says, punching both you and Kelley in the arm. You both flinch and look at each other. You detect a small smile in Kelley’s lips. “So Tobin you remember when I told you that I couldn’t tell you why Kelley was rooming with Hope?” She looks at you for confirmation and you give it to her. “Well when you told me why you came here I realized it was actually quite similar to why Kelley is here and rooms with Hope.” You look over at Kelley who is quite obviously on the verge of tears. Alex does the same. “Tobin do you want to tell Kelley what your reason is first?” She gives you a pleading stare, Kelley is obviously in no shape to share first. You nod.

“Um well my best friend she, um she…” You hate how hard this is for you. You are about to back out and say that you aren’t ready to say anything yet when you catch Kelley’s eye. She looks so understanding and you start to believe that maybe you do have the same reason. You take a breath. “She committed suicide.” Your speech is barely audible but it's loud enough for both Kelley and Alex to hear. Alex can see how hard this is for you and she puts her hand on your leg, about a hand-span above the knee and squeezes it. You make eye contact with her and she looks sad. You begin to wonder how long it’s been since she’s gotten Kelley to talk to someone other than her and Hope about whatever happened. Kelley looks a bit more relaxed. 

“Yeah me too.” Kelley says, moving closer to Alex, the only thing separating the two of you. 

You spend the next 45 minutes or so learning about how Kelley’s best friend jumped in front of a car on her 13th birthday and how Kelley pretend for a year that it didn’t bother her and how Hope was that one who found Kelley alone on the roof about to jump off herself. You learn from Alex how Hope was able to talk her down and that no one else knows this is why Hope and Kelley room together, not even Ms. Sundhage. By the end of this all three of you are crying and huddled up on your bed. It all makes sense to you why Kelley and Alex are so close and why the seemingly mean senior has a soft spot for the perky freshman. 

After you hug Kelley and tell her that you love her Alex walks her back to her dorm where she hands her over to Hope for the night. When Alex walks back in you are already almost asleep. But seeing Alex wakes you back up. “Wait Alex.” You say. She stops what she's doing and looks at you. “What was that earlier today? When you pushed me against the wall?” Your heart is beating fast in anticipation for the answer. 

“That?” Alex says, thinking. “That was an accident.” You sigh and are about to close your eyes when she whispers one last thing. “A not so accident, accident.” She winks at you and before you can respond Ms. Sundhage turns out the lights and you are drifting into sleep.


	8. Falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already updated tonight but I'm really excited about this one and the next one so here you go!

Since it’s sunday you are allowed to sleep in until 9:30. You and Alex are both thankful for this since you had such an emotionally draining first week. You wake up and go to breakfast in your dress. Church starts at 11:00. You see Ashlyn at lunch and she reminds you of your lake date. You smile and say there was no way you could’ve forgotten. At 2:00 you and Ashlyn are having the time of your life's paddle board racing and teaching each other water tricks. At the end you fist bump and promise to this every Sunday. You tell her how thankful you are to have such a carefree day because of how stressful your week has been. She smiles understanding. 

The next two weeks go by much smoother than the first one. You are more adjusted to the way the days run and you are more comfortable with the other girls. Your team is already at the top of your league and headed to nationals. You couldn’t be more excited, all the long days and hard work has paid off. You have become a regular starter as well as Alex. 

On the Wednesday of your third week things start to heat up. Your two captions, Abby and Christie are in a bit of a fight. Everyone is on edge, even your coach, Jill. Jill is training you even harder. Today she is making you play possession. Alex is one one team with Kelley and some other girls while you are on the other. You and Alex are battling for a ball when Kelley comes to help you a knocks you and Alex down. Alex somehow manages to fall right on top of you. She stretches her hands out to meet the ground, her face is inches away from yours. You see an emotion in her eyes that you haven’t seen before, you can’t place it. Does she want you? Like that? Because you don’t know, but you think you want her like that. After a second she pulls away from you, murmuring a “Sorry.” You are still in a trance so you don’t say anything back. Abby who is on your team helps you up.

“Hey are you okay?” She asks, pulling you off the ground. You nod, not saying anything, you are still staring at Alex. Abby looks between the two of you and sighs. “Just be careful.” She whispers to you. You blush and look at your dirty cleats, are you that obvious?

When practice is over you do your best to avoid Alex and walk back to the dorms with Lauren and Amy. Alex is walking with Kelley and Sydney but it appears that like you, she is not speaking. 

You get back to your dorm and Alex is sitting on her bed with her head in her hands. “Alex are you okay?” You ask softly, not wanting to scare her. “Alex, what’s wrong?” You know better then to ask if she is okay and you know very well what is wrong but you ask them anyways. She looks up at you obviously not okay, tears are running down her face and she looks broken. More broken then when she told you about her parents. You go to sit next to her. “Wanna tell me whats up?” You ask, nudging her in the side with your elbow. 

“I-I’m just so confused.” She says sniffling. You are now almost 100% sure you know what is going on but you need to make sure. 

“Look at me.” You say, taking her face in your hands. She looks at you, still crying. You wipe away the tears with your thumbs. “What are you confused about?” You ask, pushing your face closer to hers. You look down at her lips, they are trembling and soaked in tears. You look back up at her eyes and see that they are on your lips. She moves her face as close to yours and humanly possible.

“This.” She whispers. “This is what I am confused about.” She puts her lips on yours. At first you start to pull away, this is strange, you’ve never had feelings for a girl, much less kissed one. But you rethink and go back in. When you feel her lips again it feels like yours are on fire. Just as you are about to deepen the kiss someone knocks on the door. You jump away and look at Alex. She is trying to wipe away her tears. You go to the door and open it, Kelley is outside, waiting. 

“Ugh omg this team is going to be the death of me!” She yells stomping into the room. She slows down when she sees Alex’s face and your bewildered expression. “Did- did I interrupt something?” You just look over to Alex who is pleading at you with her eyes.

“No.” You say flat out. “I was just about to leave.” You walk out of the room quickly and once you get into the hallway you start to run. You aren’t sure where you’re going but you know you can’t be here.


	9. Ashlyn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys want to happen! I'm not going to be updating as much because before I had a bunch of pre written chapters but now I am writing them as I go. Still one a day tho. Love you guys! :)

You’re not really sure where you’re running to but you just know that you need to get away from all the confusing feelings for Alex. Your body decides to take you to the lake, the place where you just felt so free with Ashlyn. No one is there so you walk out onto the dock and sit down, taking off your shoes and letting your feet splash in the water. 

After a while you hear footsteps behind you. All you want to do is be alone but they get closer to you. You turn around to yell at the person walking towards you but stop when you see it’s Ashlyn. If you had to talk to anyone right now it would be her. She comes and sits next to you, you expect her to say something, anything, but all she does is take off her shoes and put her feet in the water next to yours. You are a bit startled but are grateful that she isn’t trying to make you talk. 

After a good five minutes she sighs. “You good?” You ask, nudging her foot in the water.

“Yeah, fine. You?” She asks, turning her face towards you. You look at her then back down again, not sure what to say.

“I don’t really know.” Your voice breaks and as much as you try to keep them in, the tears flow out. “I-i’m sorry.” You manage to choke out. You know Ashlyn didn’t come here to see you cry. 

“Hey Tobin,” She says in an uncharacteristically soft voice. “It’s okay.” She puts her arm around you, pulling you closer. She lets you cry into her for another minute before asking questions. “Wanna tell me what’s up?” You nod taking a breath. “Take your time.” She says. You can feel how genuine she is. You take another breath and sit up.

“You can’t tell anyone.” You say, looking into her eyes.

“Of course.” She says seriously. 

“Well um there’s this person who is making me really confused.” Ashlyn gives you a questioning look. You sigh and try again. “I’m having feeling towards a girl.” You feel another tear slip down your cheek but brush it away. You look up at Ashlyn to gauge her reaction. She looks normal, like this is no big deal.”I’ve never liked a girl before.” This time Ashlyn has sympathy on her face.

“Oh Tobin,” She says, hugging you. “It’s okay to have feelings. And I wouldn’t worry about them. They are completely normal. And don’t tell anyone else but I’m actually gay so...” You look at her. At this moment in time you couldn’t be happier that Ashlyn was gay. 

“Oh thank God.” You say, you can already feel the stress lifting off your shoulders. Not that you are gay but it’s just nice to have someone to talk to. “I’m just so confused.” You say, playing with your hands. 

“I know.” Ashlyn says knowingly. “It’s so incredibly confusing. And just because you have feelings for one girl does not mean that you are going to have feelings for another.” You smile, you already knew this but hearing Ashlyn say it makes you feel much better.

“I know,” You say. “But this girl is just as confused as me.” Ashlyn looks at you with questioning eyes. “It’s um,” You start but don’t know if you should tell her. What if Alex doesn’t want anyone to know?! 

“Is it Alex?” Ashlyn says, saving you from the trouble of telling her. You start to say yes but decide on just a nod. 

“How did you know?” You ask, genuinely curious. 

“Well you guys weren't exactly slick during practice today.” Your face turns red, you know exactly what she is talking about. “I thought that you guys were going to kiss right then and there.” She smiles at you, letting you know it’s okay. Your face just turns redder and you look away. 

“I thought we were going to kiss then too.” You say unsurely.

“Did, have you kissed her?” Ashlyn asks in a much quieter voice. You nod.

“That’s what makes this so much worse. I wanted that kiss and I don’t know if I want it again because it made me feel sick but it also made me feel so happy. Ya know?” Ashlyn nods. 

“I’m guessing the kiss was good?” She asks, smiling.

“I mean yeah she’s a good kisser but she was crying so…” You say, slightly embarrassed. 

“Wow, you’re that bad of a kisser?” Ashlyn says, shoving you. 

“Hey!” You say, splashing her leg with water. 

“Oh you do not want to play this game, Heath.” Ashlyn says in a mock serious tone.

“Try me.” You say smirking. You see her hands about to shove you in the water. When they hit you you grab them and pull her in with you. 

“Dang it Tobin!” Ashlyn yells, laughing. 

For the next ten minutes you mess around in the water, doing what you had originally wanted to do, forget. But only too soon you realize it’s time to head back to reality and you and Ashlyn walk back to the school. You know that you will have to face Alex soon.


	10. One more time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so short ;( Got a good one coming tho. Trying to incorporate what you guys want into the story :)

You walk back into your dorm room, expecting Alex to be waiting for you on the bed. She’s not. You are slightly relieved but also sad. You really want to talk to her, you feel bad that you ran away like that. You sigh and get ready for dinner. You know she’s going to have to come back in here sometime.

At dinner she avoids you the whole time. In the beginning you try to sit next to her but she gets up and moves. Everyone can see the tension between you and it doesn’t help when people try to talk to you. Eventually you give up and walk back to your room in defeat, way before anyone else leaves. No one tries to follow you and you are thankful for that, you just want to be alone.

Alex finally come back into the room at about 9:30. You look at her but she avoids your eyes. “Alex I’m sorry I ran away from you.” You say, trying to fix whatever you broke. She just nods and looks like she is on the verge of tears. “This is just as confusing for me as it is for you.” You try again. This time, she speaks.

“How could this be confusing for you!?” She practically yells at you. You are taken aback. What is she talking about? “You have had so much more real world experience. You probably already know how to do this.” She motions between the two of you. 

“Alex i’ve never done this before.” You say defensively.

“But you know how to.” She fires back. “I’m the one who should be confused.” She says. Then quieter, “This is all your fault anyways.” 

“How is this my fault!?” You yell at her, she is obviously startled at your outburst. “Before you I never had these feelings for a girl.” You say, choking up. “You are the one who started all of this anyways. How is it my fault.” You whisper. You are scared that if you open your mouth again you will cry for the second time today so you put hide your face with your hands and fall to the ground. You feel Alex sit down next to you. 

“Wait what?” She asks, stunned. “You, you haven’t ever done this?” You take a deep breath and look up. 

“Of course not!” You say, doing your best not to cry. “I’m- i’m not, I don’t like, um, girls.” You look to Alex’s face. She looks slightly confused.

“I-i’m sorry.” She stutters. “I-I just assumed. I mean you, you look it.”

“Yeah I’ve been told that before.” You say, blushing. 

“I’m totally into it though.” Alex says biting her lip.

“And i’m totally into you.” You say, leaning into her. She presses her lips against yours for the second time today. You’re not as nervous as you were earlier and she isn’t crying so you can really appreciate how soft her lips are and how they fit perfectly with yours. You only hope that she feels the same way about you.


	11. Journals

The next day after practice Alex goes to Kelley’s room. Leaving you with time to think. You go to sit on her bed, for some reason you find it comfier than yours. You pick up the pillow and hug it, taking in Alex’s scent; she smells like home. Before you put down the pillow you see that there is a book laying on the spot where the pillow should be. You put down the pillow and pick up the book. When you open it you see that in messy handwriting it says, ‘Property of Alex P. Morgan.’ You smile, she must've written that when she first got here. You are about to put the book down since it’s not your place to read it, when you see your name right below hers. You decide that since your name is on it you are allowed to read a bit of it. Just enough to see how she feels about you. You open the book so that it’s towards the end. You see a date, November 7th 2015. You realize that’s the day you got here, so you read.

November 7th, 2015

A new girl came today! I’m so excited! She’s actually my new roommate and if I’m being honest… she’s kinda cute. Like not in a little kid way. Well yes in a little kid way but also in a cute way, ya know? Whatever. Anyways she’s really nice and I already think we are going to be good friends. Baiiii!!!! -Alex.   
You smile. The way she writes is adorable, like she’s talking to someone else. You turn the page. Some of the words are smudged. Tear stains? Maybe, maybe not. You look for the date and see that it says November 11th 2015. You think back. That was a friday. Oh, that friday you think.

November 11th, 2015  
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!! I told Tobin about why i’m here and I think she thinks i’m crazy now. Oh my lord. I fucked up. I hate when people know about this. But maybe she’s different. She told me why she’s here and it’s pretty valid. I think her best friend killed herself or was accidently hit by a train. Either way it sucks. It’s actually kind of similar to why Kelley rooms with Hope. Maybe I will get them to talk about it. Yeah. Anyways I think that I can trust her, like really trust her. But I have a problem a B-I-G problem. I think I have a crush on her. Oh fuck now I’m crying. I’m not supposed to have crushes on girls. I’m straight. I’m fucking straight, right…? I don’t know I don’t know. I’m sorry :( -Sad Alex

This brings tears to your eyes. You didn’t realize how much she trusted you with her story. In this moment you feel needed and that makes the tears go away and the smile come back. You look at the next page and start to read.

November 12th, 2015  
I AM NOT GAY I AM NOT GAY NO WAY I AM NOT GAY. Okay that was cool that it rhymed but I AM NOT GAY. I can’t be. I can’t like Tobin as any more than a friend. That just can’t happen. You need to shake these feelings off right now. I don’t care how good she looks in her underwear and bra… NO DON’T THINK ABOUT THAT. UGH. I hate myself. This isn’t right. I’m not right. Maybe I should cut myself again. I need punishment. This is bad. I can’t be like this. This needs to stop. Now. -Alex

You slam the book shut. What did you just read. You knew Alex was struggling with this but you had no idea how much. You shove the book back under the pillow and run out of your room and to Kelley’s. You run into Hope on your way there. “Are Kelley and Alex in your room!?” You ask the older girl desperately. 

“Kelley is. But not Alex. Why?” Hope responds. But before you can give an answer you are sprinting out of the building and towards the lake. You have learned that that is where it is usually calm and where you can find people who want to be alone. You have seen Ashlyn and Ali there many times. It turns out you were right. You find Alex sitting alone of a dock with her feet in the water. Just like you had been the previous day. You walk up to her slowly, you don’t want to scare her. 

“Hey.” Is all you say at first.

“Hey.” She says back smiling at you. 

“Alex I need to talk to you.” You say, getting nervous. 

“What’s up?” She says, scooching closer to you. You try and find the best way to say this.

“Alex I,” You start. “Alex why.” Is all you say. You are fully aware that you sound like a complete idiot. You see her expression change from curious to confused. 

“Why what?” She says, pushing her hair behind her ears. You motion to her wrists. She still looks confused. You take her hands. 

“Why this?” You say, your voice breaking when you see the white scars on her upper wrist. You look up at her face. She looks shocked, angry, and about to cry. She pulls her hands away from yours. 

“Did you read my journal.” She says in the harshest tone you have ever heard her speak in. You are too scared to say anything. “DID YOU READ MY JOURNAL!” She yells, tears already coming out of her eyes. You start to try and explain yourself but she stops you. “Save it Tobin. You know I really trusted you.” She gets up and walks away. 

“Alex wait!” You start. 

“Tobin SHUT UP!” With that she runs away from you. You know it’s no good to go after her so you just stay put. Too shocked to even cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol I suck at writing happy things


End file.
